Melanie H. is a creative professional in her early 30s.
At 18, where did you envision yourself at this age? What jobs most appealed to you as a young person, and did you study towards this then-goal?
I got engaged to my high school sweetheart at 18, so at the time, I thought I’d have two or three kids by this age. I wasn’t sure if I would continue to work or not. At the time, I think I really wanted to continue to work while raising kids — my mother did — but my then-fiancé disagreed. I decided when I was about 12 that I wanted to be a band/orchestra director, and I didn’t really waver on that — or consider any other career paths — until I was 19 or 20. I pursued admission at schools with great music programs, and since I was a decent French horn player, I knew that I would have scholarship opportunities. My family’s income was modest, but a large scholarship allowed me study out of state at a private university. I was one of only two students from my high school that left the Midwest for college. I liked my courses, my professors, and my friends, but I missed home and I think I wanted to grow up too fast. I wanted to finish school before getting married, but I missed my fiancé, and at the end of my second year of college, we decided that we would both move back to Illinois. I transferred into another music education program, but my new conservatory was much more intense and focused on performance. I was asked to repeat courses that I had earned Bs for at my first school, putting me on a 5-year plan instead of 4, and I found the environment to be suffocating. I started to doubt that I was in the right career path, my fiancé and I grew apart despite being closer together in location and we broke up, and I began to struggle with depression and anxiety. I walked away from music education after seven semesters, but I didn’t have any idea what else I could do.
Did the recession impact your path?
I feel more impacted by the decline of the print/publishing industries. When I decided to pursue an English major, I wasn’t sure exactly what I would do, but I thought I might like to work in publishing. I think a lot of those jobs started to disappear around the time that I was in school. I also chose to finish my undergrad degree at a very small college, which was the right decision for me at the time, but it didn’t offer much in terms of internship opportunities, or even career advice.
What are you doing now? What do you want to do next?
My husband and I just relocated for his job, and I’m looking for work in our new location. I was working as a contract photographer, approaching full-time hours in the summer and fall, but without benefits, and the work was seasonal. I also worked a lot of evenings and weekends. I’m hoping to transition into something with a more traditional schedule and a regular salary with benefits. Part of me wants to continue pursuing photography, but I don’t have great business instincts, and it’s difficult to be out on my own in a new city where I have no connections. The internet and social media have made photography a difficult business, too — I get a lot of publication requests for my work, but payment is rarely offered. I’ve had newspapers decline to pay me even $10 for a photo for one of their articles.
I have an English major and experience in writing, photography, and customer service, but I don’t have traditional corporate experience. It’s hard to find someone that will give me a chance. I have been applying for copywriting and communications jobs, along with photography jobs. I don’t really have a specific job that I really want in mind. It would be terrific if I could find a great company where I fit in well — somewhere that I can grow and learn new skills, a place that values my contributions and treats its community and employees well. I think it’s easy for me to become passionate about something if I know that I am doing good work that matters to someone.
Has student loan debt impacted your decisions?
I have a mountain of student loan debt. While I was in grad school, I was advised to borrow the maximum amount possible, which was something like $20,000 per year. A portion would cover my tuition, and then I would get the remainder back as a “refund” that allowed me to live while I studied. I wasn’t very financially savvy, and I didn’t really consider the big picture — including that I was pursuing an arts degree, and that I would never make that money back. After a couple of years, I saw the total amount that I owed, panicked, and stopped going to grad school, but the damage was done. I’ve benefited from programs that have reduced my payment based on the very small income that I had, but now that I am married, my husband’s income has been taken into account (he has student debt, too), and my payment increases to more than $1000 this month. It’s way more than we can afford, especially living in one of the most expensive housing markets in the country. I had to apply for financial hardship and hope it gets approved, but meanwhile, the interest keeps mounting.
I lived in a normal, middle-class town, but I went to the smaller high school in town, in a district with a lot less funding. We had career-oriented electives, but they were mainly for students who didn’t want to take a full load of college-prep classes. I had no career advice, despite graduating at the top of my class. I was good with computers and taught myself how to code HTML websites when I was a kid, and I was great in math. No one ever talked to me about career options in technology or math, though. I’m not sure if it was because I was a girl, or if my school just didn’t have the funding for programs like that in the late 90s. Looking back, it’s easy to see that I would have had more career options — in a lot of exciting fields—if I had pursued something in technology. I definitely had the aptitude for it. I guess I still might, but I feel like it’s too late.